This came up on one of my social media’s so I thought I would share.
I think today maybe a longer post so you may want to go to the loo and grab a drink first. Maybe a biscuit too.
Ok, here we go…
My battle with mental health began when I was 10. I lost my sister when I was 9 I guess I didn’t know how to deal with this.
I spent several years in and out of CBT (I think I can’t remember) but I felt everone was against me and didn’t engage.
Over the next 5 years, I got worse, I took out my overflowing emotions on my family and friends. I would shout a lot, little things would get me upset very easily. I had no idea how to control how I felt. I took it out on the only way I knew how by binging whenever I was home alone. I would hoard junk food and just eat as much as I could wheghn no one was home. As a result, my weight slowly increased and as a very small wheelchair user everything became much more difficult. I was then in hospital to lose weigh and gain control of my emotions.
Fast foreward to college,(2015/2016) throughout college my mental health was a massive struggle. In my first year I went through a lot with several friends self harming and attempting suicide. I was not in a good place as I was followed by a second year student which made me really anxious. I had to know who was around me at all times. There were points when I only felt safe inside my classroom. He never did anything apart from creeping me out.
I became suicidal in my second year and eventually went to the GP who diagnosed me with depression. I managed to finish college somehow. I then had a 2 year break where I spent time just trrying to feel like a human again. I attended group CBT through a local service. I also joined the Solent Jobs Program through this I am now in a paid tempory employmment placement until the end of November 2018. This has shown me I am capable of part time work and that I can do it. I am so proud of how far I have come. Although anxiety is still a big problem I am woring on this.
I have, within the last few weeeks, begun counceling again so although everything is very up and down I know it is because I am looking back at uncomfortable things which in the long run will help me.
RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE!!
I am always here if you need me. Just send me a comment.
I have found that bullet journaling has been a massive part of my recovery in many ways. I highly recomend you give it a go.